Royal Legacy Lover Pillows

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Now that's an afro!'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

"She wishes to range free!"

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'How about a game of cards?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"The knights of the round accent table"

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

The Frog Prince

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'