Lineage Lover Pillows

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

Have you even thought of having children, Randy? Of course. I come from a long line of perfect specimens. Each successive generation is more charming, more virile, more irresistible than the last. HOJ. Logic dictates that I am not the end result, I am but a link in the evolutionary chain of Randies. I must reproduce eventually, for the sake of all mankind. How about you? I come from a long line of corporate overlords, each greedier than the last ...

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

Genealogical picture of Mr. Punch.

'We've traced you back to the cartoonist who drew you.'

GENEALOGY - FAMILY TREE RESEARCH, 'Whoa! -- John Wilkes Booth AND Benedict Arnold?'

"The owner says that his ancestors go back hundreds of years, but so do ours!"

"Have I ever showed you our family tree?"

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

" ...and this is the armor of my ancestor, 'Cederick the Unintimidating.'"

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Here be dragons.

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

Lady of the bath...

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

"I miss the Augean stables."

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

Myths and legends...

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

Zorro as a child.

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"