Royalty Observers Pillows

'Don't breathe a word of it, but I'm getting the Queen a tax hike for her birthday!'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

"She wishes to range free!"

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

The Frog Prince

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

British Prime Minister

Princess Anne