Royalty Wannabe Gifts

King and Queen with real estate agent view castle for sale: 'My wife likes it, but she wants to know if you have the same thing in purple.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Bubbly

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Kiss me and I'll turn into a Prince. But I have to be honest with you, if asked about it I'll deny the whole sordid affair!"

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'I screwed up royally!'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

Cat king.

'It's the Secretary-General of the United Nations -- are you here?'

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'