Royalty Hopeful Gifts

'Happy Birthday, Son! -- We got you your own Swiss bank account!'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

Bubbly

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'I screwed up royally!'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

"Kiss me and I'll turn into a Prince. But I have to be honest with you, if asked about it I'll deny the whole sordid affair!"

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

'Be right back -- I have to sign some ennobling legislation.'

Cat king.

'It's the Secretary-General of the United Nations -- are you here?'

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'

'It's sad in a way -- just when he was declaring victory.'