Royalty Hopeful T-Shirts

'Happy Birthday, Son! -- We got you your own Swiss bank account!'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Bubbly

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'I screwed up royally!'

"Kiss me and I'll turn into a Prince. But I have to be honest with you, if asked about it I'll deny the whole sordid affair!"

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

'It's the Secretary-General of the United Nations -- are you here?'

Cat king.

'Be right back -- I have to sign some ennobling legislation.'

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'

'When did we permit the Jester to start doing impressions?'