Royalty Rabble-rouser Gifts

"Tell his highness I want him to exercise more."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

'How about a game of cards?'

Czarcasm

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Jack Gleeson

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

The Frog Prince

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

Princess Anne

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'I screwed up royally!'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'