Playful Royalty Gifts

Child playing king.

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'They say a man's home is his castle...here's your sceptre, your highness, the throne is plugged!'

"You're taking this 'King Of Beasts' thing too seriously."

'It creeps me out when he watches the History Channel and takes notes!'

'My classmates voted me most likely to succeed!'

'I could have SWORN I outlawed dragons!'

Ethelred II

'Well, yes. We are losing the battle, sire. But this is just an exhibition...'

"We are not under siege, Your Majesty. You just have a siege mentality."

"How would you like to be queen for a day?"

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

Joke of a lover

"For Hispanic Heritage Month, I declare myself...queen of Hispanic heritage!"

A king stands on his balcony; his legs match the balustrade.

'My brother-in-law asked for political asylum, so I had him committed.'

"That's kingsize?"

"Overtime on the Humpty-Dumpty project is killing the treasury."

'I don't feel like getting out of bed today - Just tell everybody to go with laissez-faire.'

'I couldn't possibly kiss you. I just don't find you attractive. '

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

'Has winning all that money changed him, you ask...?'

'Let the good times roll.'

'That's Lady Erica the courtesan's courtesan.'

'You'd better have a little talk with Rupert -- he beheaded his teddy bear today.'

"Trust me, Your Majesty, my act is way better in person."

'We need to build a new dungeon, Sire -- the old one is full of your attempted assassins.'

"I try to be royal without being regal."

'Actually, he hates having a beard †he just doesn't trust anybody to shave him.'

'King me!'

'Is it true? -- Did you slap a tariff on mother?'