Playful Royalty Pillows

Child playing king.

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'They say a man's home is his castle...here's your sceptre, your highness, the throne is plugged!'

"You're taking this 'King Of Beasts' thing too seriously."

'It creeps me out when he watches the History Channel and takes notes!'

Ethelred II

'My classmates voted me most likely to succeed!'

"Your idea of ankle monitors for the entire kingdom is not polling well, sire!"

'I could have SWORN I outlawed dragons!'

'Well, yes. We are losing the battle, sire. But this is just an exhibition...'

"We are not under siege, Your Majesty. You just have a siege mentality."

"How would you like to be queen for a day?"

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

You're getting a crown for cosmetic purposes. You're not being made the ruler of all us other teeth.

A king stands on his balcony; his legs match the balustrade.

'My brother-in-law asked for political asylum, so I had him committed.'

"For Hispanic Heritage Month, I declare myself...queen of Hispanic heritage!"

Joke of a lover

"That's kingsize?"

"Overtime on the Humpty-Dumpty project is killing the treasury."

'Has winning all that money changed him, you ask...?'

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

'I couldn't possibly kiss you. I just don't find you attractive. '

'I don't feel like getting out of bed today - Just tell everybody to go with laissez-faire.'

'That's Lady Erica the courtesan's courtesan.'

'Let the good times roll.'

'You'd better have a little talk with Rupert -- he beheaded his teddy bear today.'

"Trust me, Your Majesty, my act is way better in person."

'We need to build a new dungeon, Sire -- the old one is full of your attempted assassins.'

'Can we wait till tomorrow to go out to dinner? -- My Dungeons & Dragons group meets tonight!'

"I try to be royal without being regal."

'Actually, he hates having a beard †he just doesn't trust anybody to shave him.'

'King me!'