Lover Of Royal Antics Pillows

"Sara! Get me King Louie! No, I don't care which one!"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"A kingdom? A whole kingdom? All I want is a horse."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'I don't know. Neo-monarchism sounds good...'

'Time gentlemen please. Come on, don't you have any kingdoms to go to? ! '

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

King reaching for an apple

'It's nothing personal against you, Bobo -- it's just that Limbaugh is funnier.'

"You can buy all kinds of stuff on the internet!"

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

"It is not you. It is we."

Palanquin Toilet Break

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

Child playing king.

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'

'I'm tired of foreign policy -- I think I'll go interfere in the economy for awhile.'

'That's Lady Erica the courtesan's courtesan.'

At last, Paul Burrell finds his diary.

"I'm making moatmeal. Do you want some?"

"Just the usual stuff - 17 bills and half a dozen death threats."

"Humanitarian aid? -- What fun is that?"

'You don't get all bent out of shape when LADY GODIVA does it!'

'You'd be worried, too, if YOUR mother-in-law got a seat on the Security Council.'

"But he's noble deep down INSIDE, Daddy!"

'When you say I made the cut, is that a good thing or a bad thing?'

"I fear he's the bearer of bad news."