Royal Humor Lover Pillows

'I'm tired of foreign policy -- I think I'll go interfere in the economy for awhile.'

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

"His majesty wants to binge-watch some comedy. Can you whip up 10 hours of new material?"

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

King reaching for an apple

'It's nothing personal against you, Bobo -- it's just that Limbaugh is funnier.'

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

"It is not you. It is we."

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

Joke of a lover

Palanquin Toilet Break

'And he thinks he's the most powerful being in the land.'

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'They're not available right now, Sire - All your economic advisors are working second jobs.'

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

'That's Lady Erica the courtesan's courtesan.'

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'

"I'm making moatmeal. Do you want some?"