Royal Humor Lover Pillows

'I'm tired of foreign policy -- I think I'll go interfere in the economy for awhile.'

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

King reaching for an apple

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

"It is not you. It is we."

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

Joke of a lover

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

Palanquin Toilet Break

'And he thinks he's the most powerful being in the land.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'They're not available right now, Sire - All your economic advisors are working second jobs.'

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'

"I'm making moatmeal. Do you want some?"

'That's Lady Erica the courtesan's courtesan.'

"Just the usual stuff - 17 bills and half a dozen death threats."

'Rolling up your sleeves doesn't really make you a man of the people.'