Royal Court Humor Lover Pillows

'It's nothing personal against you, Bobo -- it's just that Limbaugh is funnier.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

"Your early stuff was funnier."

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

King reaching for an apple

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

The Queen's Speech

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

"It is not you. It is we."

Joke of a lover

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

'They're not available right now, Sire - All your economic advisors are working second jobs.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'Don't worry -- he's a trained professional.'

Palanquin Toilet Break

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

'That's Lady Erica the courtesan's courtesan.'

"I resign Sire - I've landed my own show on Channel 4..."

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'

"But you did not bow to his cuteness."

"I'm making moatmeal. Do you want some?"

'I'm tired of foreign policy -- I think I'll go interfere in the economy for awhile.'

"Just the usual stuff - 17 bills and half a dozen death threats."

'Actually, he hates having a beard †he just doesn't trust anybody to shave him.'