Fan Of Royal Humor Pillows

'If you want to be truly incognito, you'll have to lose the crown.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

King reaching for an apple

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

"It is not you. It is we."

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

Palanquin Toilet Break

Joke of a lover

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'They're not available right now, Sire - All your economic advisors are working second jobs.'

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'

'That's Lady Erica the courtesan's courtesan.'

Snail Red Carpet