Royal Comedy Aficionado Pillows

'Of course we lost the stupid war- you cheapskates wouldn't buy war bonds!'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

King and clown engage in role reversal.

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

King reaching for an apple

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

The Queen's Speech

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

"It is not you. It is we."

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

Palanquin Toilet Break

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'They're not available right now, Sire - All your economic advisors are working second jobs.'

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

"I resign Sire - I've landed my own show on Channel 4..."

'I'm tired of foreign policy -- I think I'll go interfere in the economy for awhile.'

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'

'That's Lady Erica the courtesan's courtesan.'

"But you did not bow to his cuteness."