Royalty Appreciator Pillows

"Deep and crisp and even...just how I like my pizzas!"

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

Czarcasm

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

The Frog Prince

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

Princess Anne

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

'I screwed up royally!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"