Royalty Aesthetic Appreciator Pillows

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Demure lady with gloves

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Now that's an afro!'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

Czarcasm

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"He's a guard dog."

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

The Frog Prince

Mr Metrosexual.

Princess Anne

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'