Royal Portrait Appreciator Pillows

"He wasn't wearing glasses till you came in!"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Cariactures

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'Now that's an afro!'

Knight Golfing

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

King George I

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

The Frog Prince

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

Princess Anne

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

Jester Surgeon

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

The Unhappy King

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"Nevermore."

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

Royal Love

"First of all, I would like to express my gratefulness to all those wonderful ancestors of mine who helped to make this glorious day possible."

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."