Royal Humor Appreciator Pillows

'They're not available right now, Sire - All your economic advisors are working second jobs.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

'Time gentlemen please. Come on, don't you have any kingdoms to go to? ! '

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

King reaching for an apple

"You can buy all kinds of stuff on the internet!"

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

The Queen's Speech

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

"It is not you. It is we."

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

Joke of a lover

Palanquin Toilet Break

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

'That's Lady Erica the courtesan's courtesan.'

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'