Royal Humor Appreciator Pillows

'They're not available right now, Sire - All your economic advisors are working second jobs.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

"His majesty wants to binge-watch some comedy. Can you whip up 10 hours of new material?"

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

'Time gentlemen please. Come on, don't you have any kingdoms to go to? ! '

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

King reaching for an apple

'It's nothing personal against you, Bobo -- it's just that Limbaugh is funnier.'

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

"You can buy all kinds of stuff on the internet!"

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

The Queen's Speech

"It is not you. It is we."

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

Joke of a lover

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

Palanquin Toilet Break

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'