Royal Splurging Gifts

'You spent the whole peace dividend?'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

Cord cutter

King George I

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

The Unhappy King

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

Royal Love

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

Disraeli becomes Earl of Beaconsfield

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

Gogglebollox: Our Queen at 90

'He's still addressing the nation.'

Royal Wedding procession.

'He's trying to fine-tune the economy again.'