Royal Escapades Gifts

A Foot Guard being teased by children.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

The Unhappy King

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

Royal Love

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

Disraeli becomes Earl of Beaconsfield

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

'He's trying to fine-tune the economy again.'