Royal Relaxation Enthusiast Gifts

Princess in Bed

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

Czarcasm

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

The Unhappy King

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'