Royal Relaxation Enthusiast Pillows

Princess in Bed

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Now that's an afro!'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'How about a game of cards?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

Czarcasm

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

The Snooze Bar.

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

The Unhappy King