Royal Recliner Gifts

Pharaoh on the toilet.

"Surprise!"

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

"I say we move on to dessert."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Last night I went over to Lance's house, and he was leaning back in his recliner, drinking a beer, eating a pizza and smoking a cigar. I said, "Tsk! Tsk!" He asked if that was for the recliner, the beer the pizza or the cigar. I explained that I'm quite adept at multi-tsking.

"What ever happened with that old shack you bought in the woods? You were going to rehab and flip it."

"Don't you just love the beach, dear?"

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

"And this is my husband...he's into energy conservation, mostly his own!"

'Dad, have you ever thought about retiring and going in for volunteer work?'

Football Royalty

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

"It makes me feel better about myself."

'The Ben Franklin? What an honor! I see your 'Poor Richard's Almanack' in bathrooms all over the place!'

"You know, I'm beginning to think that I'm not destined for greatness."

'How do you like your new, 'self rising armchair', Mum?'

"This one he can do"

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

Lady reclining with a glass of wine on a giant loaf of bread.

Follow me on Twiddle my thumbs.

'This one only has two positions... 'attention' and 'at ease'.'

American 'Idle'.

'TWO crowns? - I'd say you definitely have delusions of grandeur.'

"OK! OK! I get the message! Your recliner, not mine!"

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'Hey! I didn't ask to be king - I had it thrust upon me!'

'You've heard of a couch potato? Well he's a mouse potato.'

'I'm pretty sure I never said I wanted a 'Bouncy' castle.'

"Of course the best way to lay compost is to get someone else to do it..."

THE PLAYBOY CHANNEL. 'I have to get my mind off politics somehow!'

"I've decided to take on a more ambassadorial role, here are some leaflets on the importance of humour within the workplace..."

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

'We had a huge tax surplus, and then she discovered eBay.'