Royal Recliner Pillows

Pharaoh on the toilet.

"Surprise!"

"I say we move on to dessert."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"What ever happened with that old shack you bought in the woods? You were going to rehab and flip it."

"Don't you just love the beach, dear?"

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about retiring and going in for volunteer work?'

"And this is my husband...he's into energy conservation, mostly his own!"

"It makes me feel better about myself."

'The Ben Franklin? What an honor! I see your 'Poor Richard's Almanack' in bathrooms all over the place!'

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

Football Royalty

'How do you like your new, 'self rising armchair', Mum?'

"You know, I'm beginning to think that I'm not destined for greatness."

"This one he can do"

Lady reclining with a glass of wine on a giant loaf of bread.

Follow me on Twiddle my thumbs.

'TWO crowns? - I'd say you definitely have delusions of grandeur.'

'This one only has two positions... 'attention' and 'at ease'.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

"OK! OK! I get the message! Your recliner, not mine!"

'Hey! I didn't ask to be king - I had it thrust upon me!'

'You've heard of a couch potato? Well he's a mouse potato.'

"Of course the best way to lay compost is to get someone else to do it..."

'I'm pretty sure I never said I wanted a 'Bouncy' castle.'

"I've decided to take on a more ambassadorial role, here are some leaflets on the importance of humour within the workplace..."

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

THE PLAYBOY CHANNEL. 'I have to get my mind off politics somehow!'

'We had a huge tax surplus, and then she discovered eBay.'

"Are you 'Identifying' yourself as Dad, Father, or just a guy who needs a nap?"