Royal Drama Fan Gifts

'Anne Boleyn Topless - read all about it!'

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

TV jester.

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'The King of what?'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

King and Jester

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

"A kingdom? A whole kingdom? All I want is a horse."

Reign Man

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"One blackbird pizza?"

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"...and if any of you are opposed to my being king of the snake pit, raise your hands now!"

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

Beefeater

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

''Proclaim freedom throughout the land'? -You're kidding, right?'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'When I accepted full responsibility, that was just a manner of speaking!'

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

Gogglebollox.

'I don't know. Neo-monarchism sounds good...'

Cleopatra

Canute Does It Again

'It creeps me out when he watches the History Channel and takes notes!'

"Personally I enjoyed your biting satire!"

'For added curb appeal, I think you should fill the moat.'

'My records show that you haven't filed a tax return for 17 years!'