Royal Drama Fan Gifts

'Anne Boleyn Topless - read all about it!'

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

TV jester.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

'The King of what?'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

King and Jester

"A kingdom? A whole kingdom? All I want is a horse."

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

Reign Man

"One blackbird pizza?"

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

"...and if any of you are opposed to my being king of the snake pit, raise your hands now!"

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

Beefeater

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

''Proclaim freedom throughout the land'? -You're kidding, right?'

'It creeps me out when he watches the History Channel and takes notes!'

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

'When I accepted full responsibility, that was just a manner of speaking!'

Canute Does It Again

Cleopatra

'I don't know. Neo-monarchism sounds good...'

"Personally I enjoyed your biting satire!"

Gogglebollox.

'For added curb appeal, I think you should fill the moat.'