Room Decoration Pillows

'This is my natural habitat.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Santa Claus's Mail

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Cocktails on the verandah.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Christmas Tree

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Happy Easter

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Painting the Ceiling

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Piranhaclaus

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Home depot."