Interior Decoration Pillows

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'Bill, I like the way you handle responsibility so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'I've found black to be a very slimming color.'

French Colour Chart

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

Cross-stitched land survey.

Home Improvement Programme - "I'm afraid your teenage son will have to go."

"I don't know what to do anymore! Our new carpet was really expensive but so was the dog!"

'Every traditional country kitchen needs an aga like this... It's perfect for keeping the microwave in.'

A bowling ball reading in its living room; hunting trophies with mounted bowling pins are hanging on the wall behind it.

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

'My mother says I can't make anymore furniture for our house.'

"How may Dpi?"

All right, whose bright idea was it to get a drop ceiling with a ceiling fan?

'Those are just to hide the cracks in the wall.'

Mice in lab maze paper the walls with wallpaper that has pictures of cheese on it.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Feng Shui Channel

Flying Seagulls

Birds haven't been smacking into the window as much as they used to.

Cavemen Printing Animal Art

Hymns and Her

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

Three wall angels...

"And I'm telling you the curtains always looked like that."

"I hate country living-I just like country-living magazines."

His and Hers

"It's a nonworking fireplace, but Ursula loves to fantasize."

"You always think this is going to be the sconce that change everything for you."

"They could have picked more cheery colors."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

I love what you've done with your hare.

"Oh yes - the carpet is in it."