Roofing Mishap Humorist Pillows

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

'No it's still not fixed'

Suez Canal Curse

High tide.

"The piano's in tune, but the house is a little flat."

'There's nothing romantic about not being able to mend a fuse at your age!'

We're with the gutter cleaning service ….

"Okay. Hit it."

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

A Not So Grand Slam.

'And the good news is - we're in deep doo-doo.'

'How was my emergency stop?'

Cotton candy

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

Freak Accident Specialist

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."

"OK, now here comes the lava."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'You called a plumber!'

Luck

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

"And do you get a shooting pain between your eyes?"

"You're moving in with us? We were going to move in with you."

'It doesn't work...'

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

The ice maker is leaking. Nothing can be done about that now. It's water under the fridge. F and E Plumbing.

"And hold the mayo."

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'

"Well done!"

"You know a lot about global warming. When will we be able to swim up central park west?"