Roofers Gifts

"The Goldmans are installing shingles with only a two inch overlap. That's crazy!"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Romance

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

A heart shaped cake

A vampire in a canoe.

A day at the races

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

Frog flirting.

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

Klimt Kiss Phones

"I heard they mate for life."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

'He may have an opposable thumb, but she has him wrapped around her little finger.'

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Yes, I do a lot of rowing. How could you tell?'

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

Fully aware of the dangerous romance of Venice's canals and bridges, Gwendolyn approached this moment with a degree of caution.

Say it with flowers: It!

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

Words of Love

Bigfoot and his wife...Bignose.

'You've got to help me, Doc! I've got a crush on St. Valentine all Year!!'

Urns in love