Roofers Gifts

"The Goldmans are installing shingles with only a two inch overlap. That's crazy!"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Romance

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

A heart shaped cake

A vampire in a canoe.

A day at the races

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

Klimt Kiss Phones

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"I heard they mate for life."

Frog flirting.

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

'He may have an opposable thumb, but she has him wrapped around her little finger.'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

Urns in love

Words of Love

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

'You've got to help me, Doc! I've got a crush on St. Valentine all Year!!'

Fully aware of the dangerous romance of Venice's canals and bridges, Gwendolyn approached this moment with a degree of caution.

'Yes, I do a lot of rowing. How could you tell?'

Say it with flowers: It!

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

Wrong leadership.