Lover Gifts

'What? No flowers? No chocolates? Don't you have a heart?'

"It wasn't easy. You know how ticklish I am."

"And furthermore, I don't like the way you argue!"

The Goldilocks Flower Emporium has bouquets labeled Too Much Commitment, Too Little Commitment, and Just Right.

"Do me a favor: this year, go nuts. They could use it."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

'Couldn't I just have the chocolates this year?'

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

"Say those three little words you think I need to hear."

'I guess the transplant went ok - I just got a love letter from my new liver!'

"Did we ask for a heart-shaped tub?"

"I've found someone else who thinks I'm really attractive."

'I want to spend my nine lives with you: Will you marry me?'

A planet like ours - Penguin to camel - "It wouldn't work either way my darling. I'm getting sunburnt out here and back home you'd freeze to death."

"So what do you think, Howie—will you still love me when I'm old and blonde?"

7 Dwarves of Valentines Day

Detachment During Intimacy.

Stupid Cupid.

Elopement

Strategies that will always work

Young lady asking the hairdresser for a lock of her hair

Man sends musical notes to woman weeping hearts,

'Steel tipped safety boots? You don't trust my dancing skills?'

'...How could your wife possibly know we're in Venice?'

Sigh...things wear oud, dust collects, people die... Why can't you just relax and enjoy life? Because one thing really worries me... Reincarnation, right? ou know me too well, woman.

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

Ssshhh!!!!! - Lover and burgler trying to keep quite

'I'll admit I was sceptical.'

'I wrapped it myself.'

Rejection leaves a terrible scar....

"Will you spend eighteen months and tens of thousands of dollars planning a party with me?"

Snow woman admiring a muscular snowman.