Lover Pillows

'What? No flowers? No chocolates? Don't you have a heart?'

"It wasn't easy. You know how ticklish I am."

The Goldilocks Flower Emporium has bouquets labeled Too Much Commitment, Too Little Commitment, and Just Right.

"And furthermore, I don't like the way you argue!"

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Do me a favor: this year, go nuts. They could use it."

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

'Couldn't I just have the chocolates this year?'

"I've found someone else who thinks I'm really attractive."

'I guess the transplant went ok - I just got a love letter from my new liver!'

"Did we ask for a heart-shaped tub?"

"So what do you think, Howie—will you still love me when I'm old and blonde?"

A planet like ours - Penguin to camel - "It wouldn't work either way my darling. I'm getting sunburnt out here and back home you'd freeze to death."

'I want to spend my nine lives with you: Will you marry me?'

"Say those three little words you think I need to hear."

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

"Will you spend eighteen months and tens of thousands of dollars planning a party with me?"

'Why do we never cuddle anymore?'

Rejection leaves a terrible scar....

Stupid Cupid.

'It just wouldn't work out, Derek. I'm from a red state, and you're from a blue state.'

Sigh...things wear oud, dust collects, people die... Why can't you just relax and enjoy life? Because one thing really worries me... Reincarnation, right? ou know me too well, woman.

Elopement

Ssshhh!!!!! - Lover and burgler trying to keep quite

Man sends musical notes to woman weeping hearts,

Detachment During Intimacy.

'Steel tipped safety boots? You don't trust my dancing skills?'

Young lady asking the hairdresser for a lock of her hair

Plenty more eligible bachelors in the sea.

'I fall in love so fast, so I carry these flowers around all the time...'

Snow woman admiring a muscular snowman.

'...How could your wife possibly know we're in Venice?'