Lovers Gifts

'No point sulking,dear. If you're stopping in, you may as well be useful.'

'...so you wouldn't have to spend any money in the pub.'

'Words can't express how much I Love You - so I'm writing an equation.'

Happy Valentine!

'My member requires some interest.'

'It must be love, when he kisses me, my heart quakes 5.7 on the richter scale.'

Petting in the park.

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

"The problem is, all I think about is sex, all you think about is amphimixis."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Sloaney Pony.

Romance

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

A heart shaped cake

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

Archimedes statue with a lever

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

Klimt Kiss Phones

"I heard they mate for life."

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

Frog flirting.

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Mr Metrosexual.

Pearly King and Queen

'He may have an opposable thumb, but she has him wrapped around her little finger.'

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'