Romantic Wordsmiths Pillows

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

'The springal wondered if his popsy was a giglet.'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

I think you're ace

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Best Seller

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Mother Goose's Haiku

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

Intellectual Foreplay...

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

You trip on it, you buy it.

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

A Poet

'He never listened to his mother!'

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

Sharp Eyes