Whimsical Wordsmiths Pillows

"Good night, son - sweet dreams and a great sleep experience."

'They call me Portugese Man of War, but I'm really just a jellyfish of love.'

" 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogroves, and the mome raths outgrabe fifty basis points."

"Hmm... most of this stuff is past it's spell-by date..."

The Artist

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Cat Towels

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

Selfie Stick

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Girl to boy: 'If flowers could fly, they'd be butterflies.'

Two birds sharing a bowl of worms.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Best Seller

"It's nowhere near as far away as we thought!"

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

Mother Goose's Haiku

"He belongs to a lawyer."

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"This does not make us friends."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

You trip on it, you buy it.

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.