Playful Wordsmiths Pillows

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

Backfire

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Best Seller

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

Prayboy

Mother Goose's Haiku

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

A Poet

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

"I think that I shall never see a lawsuit lovely as a tree." "Don't go soft on us, Lenny."

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

"I'm the writer-in-residence."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

You're Out Of Order

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"It's not a real company, it's a shell company."

Tom Stoppard

He's very disciplined about his writing, three hours staring at a blank screen every morning and five in the afternoon.

Art Gecko.