Romantic Wordsmith Pillows

'You've broken down my immune system!'

Love, death and grammar.

'Would you say I have gorgeous hair, lovely eyes and a great smile?. . . You say the nicest things.'

Intellectual Foreplay...

'In your poem, you refer to my eyes as beautiful golf balls, and my hair as fairway grass. Are you, by chance, a golfer?'

I think you're ace

Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.

The Language of Love

Avoid texting valentine's messages

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

'Kate, will you civil union me?'

"If you quote Rilke again, I'm just going to have to take my bra off!"

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

'I feel obligated to tell you that this offer may expire without prior written notice.'

Writing Love Letters

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"If you ask me, his poetry has gone down hill since he started writing in metaverse."

"I'd take the fifth for you, too, baby."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Reading my Critics

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Cat Towels

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.