Flirty Wordsmith Pillows

'I'm dropping you a lion.'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

I think you're ace

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Best Seller

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Mother Goose's Haiku

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Do you call this spaghetti'

Intellectual Foreplay...

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

You trip on it, you buy it.

A Poet

Shakespeare Ave

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

'He never listened to his mother!'

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Sharp Eyes