Romantic Ritualists Gifts

'Oh no, it's not sex night again, is it'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

R.C.I.A.

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

The night of the return

The Wackoman (Heat it).

"I happen to think the blue light of the TV screen is very romantic."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Ganges

"I didn't say, 'Simon says'..."

Stonehenge Bowling

"I'm prescribing your husband a double dose of malt whiskey, to be taken twice every evening."

The Nargleys perform their post-holiday ritual of trying to blow all the needles off the tree in one breath,

". . . And I tell you that Sir Walter Raleigh used his OWN coat."

"It's another letter from Mr. Wentworth. He writes, 'You up?' and then there are some pictures of a smiley face and an eggplant."

"Ralph's over-interpreting the data again."

"Health and safety so you could keep the arrows as long as you remove the chips and replace the love potion with oat milk."

Discrimination in marriage

'Mom, Kevin just asked me to live with him!'

"I'm too old to go Dutch."

"He used to be romantic. Now I'm trying to restore him to his default settings."

"I kind of miss that morning newspaper you used to hold in front of your face."

Lord Summerisle was a Big Jacko fan...

Bath Time

"I have the first sergeant's permission to speak to the commanding officer. I am in love with your daughter, sir, and would like to marry her."

Mistletoe.

'After scraping my tongue, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, whitening my teeth and gargling, I'm hungry all over again!'

"They met online and they found the minister there, too."

'I have a rigid routine...sharpen pencils, organise desk, have writers block and start my nervous breakdown after lunch.'

"He's been a waiter for years."