Ritualistic Thinker Gifts

"Ralph's over-interpreting the data again."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

reincarnated worm...

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

Pastor's Bumper Sticker: Save the Congregation

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

'Get an afterlife!'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"I don't see HIS name on it."

10 Commandments Exceptions.

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

'Sometimes I scare myself when I realize that I always was and always will be.'

'Well, looking on the bright side, there's only 10 of them.'

'It's some kind of open-source thing -- He's giving them free will.'

Tourist viewing indian rain dance carries open umbrella.

"Oh that's a missionary school."

'Think about it, if it were not for evil we would be out of a job.'

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

Church: 'We reserve the right to refuse salvation to anyone.'

'Er... vicar - does the church have a position on the donation of GM vegetables for the Harvest Festival?'

Savings/Saviour's Bank.

'Uh, is there a TEACHER'S edition?'