Ancient Ritualist Gifts

"Two sacrificial virgins and call me in the morning."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Ganges

Do you kneel to pray in church? No, we stand up for our rites.

Stonehenge Bowling

'Oh no, it's not sex night again, is it'

"I'm prescribing your husband a double dose of malt whiskey, to be taken twice every evening."

"I'd love to, but I have a million lonely ritualistic things I need to do."

"Ralph's over-interpreting the data again."

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

"Dr. Rheinschreiber never does an appendectomy without music and dancing."

'After scraping my tongue, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, whitening my teeth and gargling, I'm hungry all over again!'

"You've all abstained for at least one hour from any food and drink, except for water and medicine, right?"

Lord Summerisle was a Big Jacko fan...

"most of you have met Higgins. He'll be helping us prepare for the upcoming audit."

Baptism in the Dead Sea

'I have a rigid routine...sharpen pencils, organise desk, have writers block and start my nervous breakdown after lunch.'

Sacrificial effigy dancing.

The traditional pre-game prayer.

Oh good life, you give to me … a gift sweeter than a rose. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Sunday night at 9, you see: Binge watching Sopranos. Mobsters be her muse.

"Except for the actual sacrifice, all this is largely symbolic."

'You always over dress for these rituals.'

'No specials will be seen tonight, so that we may bring you our regularly-scheduled programs....'

'I'll just have time to finish the yard before the next bombing run begins.'

"Oh, I hate the taste. It's the ritual I adore."

"My wife is obsessed with pickleball. It's starting to scare me."

"You won't see the fire, it's a microwave hawan."