Ancient Rituals Gifts

"Except for the actual sacrifice, all this is largely symbolic."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

Tribal masks.

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'

Stonehenge Bowling

Hold it, I think I need something more than "because it's traditional."

Do you kneel to pray in church? No, we stand up for our rites.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Ganges

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

Indian Face Painting

"It's not fair, mum. He just waits for me to finish, and then just says 'Ditto'."

'After scraping my tongue, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, whitening my teeth and gargling, I'm hungry all over again!'

"Man's first total solar eclipse"

Nadal's bottles

Snowboy becomes a Snowman.

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

'I have a rigid routine...sharpen pencils, organise desk, have writers block and start my nervous breakdown after lunch.'

"The baby apologises for missing the Christening, he had an urgent appointment."

I imagine at your age, you attend a lot of funerals, Sadie. Oh, yes, they're quite lovely. As a child, I attended birthday parties. As a lass, I attended sweet sixteens. As a young adult, I attended weddings. As a mature woman, I attended retirement parties. Now, in the twilight of life, I attend funerals. "Deathday" parties, if you will. And it's beautiful. Because it's all come full circle? Because for once, I don't have to buy the %$&*@ a gift.

Make love and war

'I do like a smoke afterwards.'

Dowsing for Coffee

Passover wine - 'I will buy a decent cabaret next year.'

Woman indicates church's no-smoking sign: "Does this mean no more burning of incense?"

'Wait -- what if the Canaanites want to convert?'

'You always over dress for these rituals.'

Watermelon Cult