Rituals Gifts

'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'

Dowsing for Coffee

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"I feel like our ritual Illuminati death orgies have become routine Illuminati death orgies."

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

Woman indicates church's no-smoking sign: "Does this mean no more burning of incense?"

The rite of springs.

Wife asking her husband questions about Freemasonry

Indian Face Painting

Do you kneel to pray in church? No, we stand up for our rites.

Nadal's bottles

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"You won't see the fire, it's a microwave hawan."

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

Watermelon Cult

"I hate it when it's our turn to host the Solstice party."

"I'm all for appeasing the gods...but you of all people should know I'm no virgin!"

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

"Your sacrifice on behalf of this organization is noted and appreciated."

Friday

R.C.I.A.

"He can't be disturbed right now. He's in a meeting with his first cup of coffee."

"It's pumpin spice latte season - I feel it in the air."

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

Confirmation of Westminster School Boys at the Abbey

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

The Nargleys perform their post-holiday ritual of trying to blow all the needles off the tree in one breath,

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Ganges

Hold it, I think I need something more than "because it's traditional."

"You've all abstained for at least one hour from any food and drink, except for water and medicine, right?"

Lord Summerisle was a Big Jacko fan...

"It's not fair, mum. He just waits for me to finish, and then just says 'Ditto'."

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

Snowboy becomes a Snowman.