Rituals Pillows

'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'

Dowsing for Coffee

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"I feel like our ritual Illuminati death orgies have become routine Illuminati death orgies."

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

Woman indicates church's no-smoking sign: "Does this mean no more burning of incense?"

The rite of springs.

Wife asking her husband questions about Freemasonry

Indian Face Painting

Nadal's bottles

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"You won't see the fire, it's a microwave hawan."

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

Watermelon Cult

"I hate it when it's our turn to host the Solstice party."

"I'm all for appeasing the gods...but you of all people should know I'm no virgin!"

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

Friday

"He can't be disturbed right now. He's in a meeting with his first cup of coffee."

"It's pumpin spice latte season - I feel it in the air."

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

Confirmation of Westminster School Boys at the Abbey

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Ganges

"It's not fair, mum. He just waits for me to finish, and then just says 'Ditto'."

Snowboy becomes a Snowman.

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

The Gods were not appeased with Bozolas sacrifice of vermin.

'I have a rigid routine...sharpen pencils, organise desk, have writers block and start my nervous breakdown after lunch.'

Baptism in the Dead Sea

'I do like a smoke afterwards.'

"How do you like our Wednesday-night get-togethers?"

'I'm beginning to question the hospital's doctor exchange policy.'

"Except for the actual sacrifice, all this is largely symbolic."