Quirky Ritualist Gifts

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Anna Calvi

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

The Dancing Academy

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."

"Happy new year!"

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

Tom Mullica.

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

"I owe my success to him. I figured, if he can make it, so can I."

'Wow! Who knows what eroticism lurks in the heart of a sister.'

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

Do you kneel to pray in church? No, we stand up for our rites.

Thanksgiving in Antarctica.

'I know it's cold up here, but you can't attain enlightenment wearing a hat like THAT.'

Adult Magician

'Eton Football (By Dumb-Crambo Junior.)'

"No-chance the rapper"

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

Christmas has officially started too early. Carols.

"Dr. Rheinschreiber never does an appendectomy without music and dancing."

Alison Pill

"You've all abstained for at least one hour from any food and drink, except for water and medicine, right?"

"most of you have met Higgins. He'll be helping us prepare for the upcoming audit."

Musician with eyepatch

"It's OK, darling - Granny's crying happy tears."

A praying mantis bride throws her husband's head to a crowd of wedding guests.

"It's one of our local customs—the annual blessing of the lawnmowers."

Man Puts on Rubber Gloves to Play Piano

'I have a rigid routine...sharpen pencils, organise desk, have writers block and start my nervous breakdown after lunch.'