Nighttime Ritualist Gifts

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

'Yes, he enjoys his evening glass of wine with a good book. It must be good, he's been reading it since 1983.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

"Great coffee, Carole."

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

Father nursing his sick child

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

"What better way to start your day than to eat and pray before we play!"

"It's pumpin spice latte season - I feel it in the air."

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

"You doomscroll, I make coffee, and together we forge bravely into each new day."

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

A couple lie in bed

'I've learned that adding water to coffee only weakens the effect.'

'Didn't you know that I read the comics every morning before I take the newspaper to Master?'

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

"Take me to your barista."

"Are you regular?" "Every morning at 6AM." "That's good." "But I don't wake up until 7."

'How long has what been going on?'

'Nothing like a cup o' Joe before you mow.'

"You choose now to suddenly become romantic?"

Eye Opener

"I'm prescribing your husband a double dose of malt whiskey, to be taken twice every evening."

'Oh no, it's not sex night again, is it'

Three witches standing around a carafe in a coffee machine, waiting for it to fill