Romantic Miscommunication Expector Pillows

'When he said he collected models, I thought he meant little plastic planes ...'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"The key is to keep the momentum going when you're establishing the base of the snowman..."

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

A man surrounded with lovehearts

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

"He's falsified data, he's falsified results...and now he says he loves me."

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

"And you're telling me this because?"

'And don't say you could have done it cheaper and better at home.'

'Why do I get the feeling you're holding something back?'

"Not on my watch..."

'I just don't want to get hurt.'

"You're welcome. Glad you like them."

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'

"I just wanted to tell you how much I love that you don't have a podcast."

"And where exactly is Timbuktu?"

"Finally - my dating app just launched a 'Why am I seeing this loser?' feature."

Look, XYXX! They're friendly!

"He's the guy I'm interested in. He's just not the kind of guy I'm interested in."

"I've never been what you'd call an 'ethics head.' "

Two sea otters with smartphones