Romantic Mischief Enthusiast Gifts

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

"Ok, George ... now you've ruined Christmas."

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

The Tooth Ferret

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Halloween health & safety.

'I thought you said you were taking me to Swan Lake?'

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

Department of Foreign Affairs Foreign Affairs staff and their Mistresses from various parts of the World,having some fun in the office, witnessed by a stunned member of the public.

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'

Bridegroom jumps in the hands of his bride after seeing a mouse

"I never lie to my parents, but sometimes we do interpret event differently."

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

'They have TWO trees!'

"My husband's lost some interest...can you tattoo me into a giant remote control?"

"Let's just make random clicking noises: it will keep the scientists busy for years trying to decipher our language..."

"Very impressive. . . internet troll."

'Really? A Bride of Satan? Golly, Lucille, why did you wait until our fourth date to tell me you were already married?'

"Who made this mess?"

"Harry! You?"

"Watch this!"

"Fred, listen. Can you hear me? The desensitizing cream - it's for external use."

'Yeah, girls smell good, but don't let THAT fool you!'

"Yo, Angela! The good news is I found your vibrator..."

Flirtation

I got arrested for posting misinformation on the internet, I told a dating agency I was 6' 2".

"I don't like sweetcorn".

The Cornucopia Trap

"They think I made them in MY image? How did they get THAT idea?"

"If your boyfriend hadn't posted you so many gifts, we would never had met."

'The postman woke me up at five this morning... That's the last time I sleep with him.'

Careful Fred, looks like another leper con.

'Hello dear, have I kept you waiting long?'