Romantic Kisser Pillows

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

Carbon Dating.

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Kissing the Fish

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

The Thinker / The Kiss.

"I have such strong feelers for you."

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

Mermaids in love

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

'This way, we'll always have rose petals on the bed. Pretty romantic, huh?'

Snake Eyes

Happiness is a cuddle woolen pullover on a cold winter day.

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

A man carries a huge bouquet of flowers.

Carbon Dating

"As a dental hygienist, the first thing I noticed was your smile."

Mexican Serenade.

"You big softy! How did you know I'm tired of being fought over?"

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"And do you promise to love, honour and be a total whore in the bedroom."

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

Storage Unit of Love

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

"Remember? I was sitting right up there when you came by and said 'Hi, beautiful!'"