Romantic Jokesters Gifts

'Of course it's a real diamond. You think I'd spend eighty bucks for a fake?'

'Yes, this is romantic, but that's not why I chose this. Gas prices are up, and i can't afford dinner, movie and gas for my car.'

'Nice Buns!'

"Freddie really loves me. He didn't just put a ring on my finger. He also banded my leg."

Clock Co. Billing an & Coo Coo Dept.

Increase Your Height.

'She says she'll go out with me if I can find a co-signer.'

'I'm from the computer dating agency.'

Consenting Adults.

Wind Tunnel of Love.

"My doctor gave me the O.K. to go ahead and die during sex."

'I'm not applauding your lovemaking, I'm trying to turn off the lights.'

Renown heart surgeon, doctor Linda Padgett, performing her famous "The-best-way-to-aman's-heart-is-through-his-stomach" technique.

Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regarding insider trading, "Love street" remains unregulated, and I'm free to let you know now, before the official announcement on Monday, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.

You haven't said a word all evening, Lance. What happened to your promise that we would spend more quality time together. Quality time, Gloria? I thought you said "quantity time."

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

"Maybe we'd kiss better if we had lips."

"So how about coming back to my place and I'll explain the Jewish dietary laws to you."

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

Einstein's T-Shirt reads: My Wife Doesn't Understand Me.

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

'They were all out of roses.'

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."