Romantic Gesture Skeptic Gifts

'That's all very sweet of you, Larry, but I'm quite happy with my current internet provider.'

"If your boyfriend is so special, why is his name tattooed on the back of your neck where you can't see it?"

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

Say it with flowers

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'The ones with the teethmarks are the had centers.'

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

Rude Snowpeople

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

A man carries a huge bouquet of flowers.

"Just once, when you bring me a bouquet of flowers can you not pull it from your sleeve?!"

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

"So I gave her the 2-diamond love-and-BFFF ring and she grave me a big kiss, sold it, and went on a cruise. That's bad, right?!"

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

Mexican Serenade.

"You big softy! How did you know I'm tired of being fought over?"

"I'd rather you'd said it with diamonds."

"Say it with Pierogies"

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

Untold Love Stories "Beauty and the Beets". We think you would be more beautiful if you dyed your hair a purplish red.

'Marry me!'

"I believe in love at first sight. It saves a lot of time."

"I've finally found my soulmate."

"OK, what have you done?"

'I want to mark this as our special place.'

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

'You remembered it's Valentine's Day!'

'...I can't believe you surprised me with a romantic balloon ride for our anniversary!'

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"The answer is NO!"

"I’ll give you my answer in ... just ... one ... minute."

Missing you...

"Oh, Gary, they're beautiful!"